Freddy Got Fingered

“Freddy, I only see ONE LeBaron”

T’s Take: Rip Torn is a punk rocker. Don’t believe me? Think about it like this… he’s got a name akin to the likes of Lux Interior, Pat Smear, and Rat Scabies. He been know to get drunk and rob banks when he’s not acting. And in “Freddy Got Fingered” he straight hates everything and everyone around him like he was trying out for Born Against. That all sounds pretty punk rock to me. And I gotta think after re-watching “Freddy Got Fingered” this weekend with Brother P, I’m pretty sure his badassery in the film wasn’t an act. So for this reason alone “Freddy Got Fingered” is a punk rock movie. Granted there are other things about it that you can make a case for punk status. The soundtrack has bands like The New York Dolls, and The Ramones on it. And like Punk, the movie itself is vehemently hated by most and only loved by a devoted small few that are fucked up enough to see its greatness. But really at the end of the day, it’s Punk Rock Rip Torn that makes this movie worthy of your time.

Rip Torn can call someone a “retard” like no one else. He fucking hates everyone in this movie to an extent that hate isn’t even strong enough a word. He throws Tom Green around as if he’s actually trying to kill him. He destroys everything in his path that pisses him off (so everything) including a bone protruding from Harland Williams’ broken leg, fancy restaurants, and his neighbors kids face. And all the while is goddamn hilarious. You almost forget the movie is about Tom Green because Rip steals every scene he’s in.

Now I know Tom Green’s shtick wore thin for many people (including myself). But the very fact that some studio gave him the money and manpower to make this horrible movie is something commendable. Plus he’s still pretty funny in it. I mean funny if your idea of funny is animal masturbation, cheese sandwiches, biting through umbilical cords, caning your crippled girlfriend for sexual purposes, drawing bananas trying to get jobs as tv repairmen, accusing your father of fingering your brother, and hitting women in the face with large salamis. I personally find this shit hilarious so there you go. The only thing that could have possibly made this movie better would have been if Glen Humplick was in it so Rip Torn could have kicked his ass as well.

You should probably know going in that this movie has a 3.9 out of 10.0 on the imdb, was given two vehement thumbs down by Ebert and Roeper (see video below), and is generally regarded as one of the worst movies of all time. You’ll be hard pressed to find many people who dig it. Up until I convinced Brother P to watch it for FSS movie week I thought I was the only one.  But if you know going in that it’s not “The Godfather” and you just want to have a good time I think you might be pleasantly surprised.

P’s Take: Uncle Brother T has been at me for years to see “Freddy Got Fingered”, and this past Sunday I checked it out on his massive flat screen. Holy, holy God. What a bizarre miserable piece of shit. There was no plot, there was no nudity, cept for Rip Torn’s white ass, there were no jokes, and despite all that it had me laughing so hard I nearly choked on several occasions. Oh, and there were two instances of Tom Green jerking animals off. One horse and one elephant if you’re keeping track.

This week is all about punk movies and this one counts for two reasons. The first and less important is that some punk shows up on the soundtrack; Pistols, Dead Kennedy’s. The vastly more important second reason is that the whole movie is a massive fuck you. A fuck you to the motion picture industry, good taste, survivors of molestation, the movie-going public, animals, and children everywhere. Uncle T is right, it is amazing this thing ever got made. But I don’t wanna talk about the movie. I wanna talk about Rip Torn.

Rip plays Tom Green’s Dad in this movie, and this is the one stroke of brilliance about this film. I have it on good authority (no I don’t) that Rip was never given a script. According to my sources (I have no sources) Mr. Torn was not aware he was shooting a movie. All the dialogue and every action that Rip Torn takes throughout FGF was purely how Rip Torn rolls on the day-to-day. When he fires Tom Green through a glass shower enclosure and berates Green for wearing his scuba gear, it is because Rip Torn hates it when you rock his scuba gear without asking. When he tosses Drew Barrymore’s shit across a waiting room, it is because that rehab lovin’ bitch got in Rip Torn’s way. Why is he angry in Pakistan and then mollified lying next to Green covered in elephant spoo? Cause Torn hates Pakistan but is calmed by elephant sperm. That’s why. Rip Torn runs the American shadow government and set the sun to spinning. Rip Torn knows that the answer to every question is violence and gibberish. For your viewing pleasure, the video below is what earned Rip Torn his role in the experiment that was “Freddy Got Fingered”. (No it didn’t).

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