T’s Take: Man if you’ve been following these guys since their first EP “Hesher” which came out in 1996 like I have, it’s no surprise then that they’re now the biggest band in the world. Bigger than U2, Pearl Jam, and The Rolling Stones rolled into one and shit out Metallica’s ass. There must be something in the water in Alberta Canada. I’ve actually considered moving there a few times just to be closer to “the back” (that’s what we fans call them… roflz!).
You know the FSS is a punk site and it’s my day job and primary source of income so I don’t often get the chance to write about the stuff I really listen to on a daily basis. Instead I have to be all “Black Flag this, Iggy Pop that” and so forth. It kinda sucks but recently I was inspired by Brother P’s brother Brother E to profess my love for this band. Brother E is a hardcore fan of “the back”. He even owns the 12” picture disc of the track Chad Kroeger did for the Spiderman 2 Soundtrack. It’s a really sweet picture disc with an image of Spidey and Chad swinging through the city on golden webs. Sometimes at night when I’m alone I think of that image and paint the ceiling the hard way. But I digress.
So listen… next time you’re out record shopping at a local indie shop like FYE buy something by The Back. I implore you. The next time they hit your local stadium get tickets even if it means sleeping on the street in the rain for days. And just know that whenever you read the FSS waxing philosophical about bullshit bands like The Clash we’re really at home listening and masturbating to Nickelback.
P’s Take: Really there are only like 7 bands in existence that I would stab an old lady for. Maybe 8, 9 at the outside. But there is only one band that I actually did end up stabbing an old lady for. And, boy howdy, was it worth it. And I’d do it again. Though obviously not to the same old lady. Cuz she dead as hell.
It was Christmastime 2003 and I had just been released from a minimum security prison for a misunderstanding involving the laws stance on self-pleasure in public libraries. I was nearly broke, beaten depressed and in bad need of a Nickleback fix.
The Wallmart was crowded with last-minute shoppers but I found what I was looking for, one last copy of N.B.’s astounding “The Long Road”. TLR, lay there on the shelf like a shiny, shiny rock and roll apple. This was going to save my season, my day and my life. As I reach for it, this vile Baba Yaga tries to wrestle it from me, babbling something about “her grandson” and “leukemia” and I think something about “beef stroganoff” for some reason. This vicious crone also had a grip of steel, likely due to years of Yete pleasuring, so she easily wrested my prize from my grasp. So in that moment of defeat I looked inside, went quiet and meditated at the speed of light. And in a flash N.B.’s sainted singer appeared before me, wreathed in flame, leaning against the bargain rack and sipping a Coors light and he said these words. He said”stab that old bitch and snap up my CD bro, it is SICK.” So that’s what I did. And lo it was mine as the Christmas bells chimed. And it only cost 16.50. And it was SICK. Amen.
Special FSS Thanks to Dano for the graphic and Brother E for the inspiration!!!
Happy April 1st Fuckers!!!
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Only worthwhile 4/1 web post today!
bout time these guys got some recognition.
rok heroz!
I find these quips about The Back both inspiring and SICK. This article seems to have absolutely nothing to do with April 1st, as every word exudes pure truth. I’m glad you guys were able to find a picture of me and the bros. That was from when I embarked upon their tour for “Dark Horse”, filling in on drums, of course. In the end they decided not to keep me permanently and I was utterly heart broken. I went on a two year drinking binge. But then I realized that if Chad wills it, it has to be right. Long live Chad’s moose-in-heat crooning…