T’s Take: “Vs The Greatest of All Time” is an album packed into an EP and it holds a special place in my black little rock and roll heart as being not only my first 10” but also the first piece of colored vinyl that I ever bought. At the time I didn’t even know such a thing existed. I clearly remember opening it up on the bus home from Pier Platters and being surprised that it wasn’t black. This EP also marks another epic FSS moment, as it’s one of the first pieces of music P and I were both simultaneously rabid over. Music is and should be the cornerstone to any worthwhile friendship. It’s often hard to put into words why this is, but it is. We were lucky enough to see The Archers at Tramps in NYC around the time of this release (I still have the flyer somewhere). And while they’ve put out a bunch of other great music, this is their best. If you don’t own anything buy them, absolutely start here.
The cardboard sleeve on my copy is coming apart at the seams and there’s more than a couple few cracks and hisses to be found when spinning the record but it’s something I still make it a point to do a couple times each year. Like yesterday for example. I threw it on over my morning cup of Joe and texted Brother P after flipping over to the B Side. We both readily agreed that we should review it for our “classics” section. It’s kinda odd that a “classic” can be born out of 1994 but sometimes I think we forget how old we really are here at The FSS.
Based on the title I’m guessing that The Archers knew they were about to fuk some shit up with this release. “Vs The Greatest of All Time” is 17 minutes of feedback, noise, odd sounds, amazing guitar work, screaming, and some really beautifully poppy indie rawk. They knew exactly when to lose control and exactly when to slow things down. And I don’t mean that in the way bands like The Pixies or later screamo acts formulaically jumped from loud to quiet. The Archers instead went on instinct and created something impervious to bullshit detectors. Sixteen years later and I’m still blown away.
P’s Take: I like to start off my reviews with folksy anecdotes that, at first glance, seem wholly unrelated to the subject of my article, but then link them both together in a completely awkward and insubstantial manner. It’s how I roll. And Ima do it again. Riiiiiighhht, now.
So one day, back back in the day, I am at home watching t.v. with my brother when I decide for whatever reason to lob a thing of Elmer’s Glue at the set. I had decided I wanted to turn it down. So the glue arcs up, comes down and hits the television at just the right angle and speed. Turned the volume right the fuck off. My brother, like 6 or 7 at the time jumped with happiness at the feat, I took a victory lap. There was not alot of victory kickin round the house at the time. Yas. But that moment was, will always be, perfect. Charming and endearing, yes? But what has this to do with The Archers of Loaf Vs. The Greatest of All Time? Well not much, those fuckers couldn’t pull off that glue turn-down slickness, that move is strictly mine. But they did pull off something perfect.
VS GOAT is 5 songs, 5 pretty long songs at that, so for an E.P. it’s pretty lengthy. And The Archers, I like them, but they can go off on uhh…tangents. Start talkin crazy, like your friend who is, uh crazy. Singin songs about faulty toast and some bullshit. But this. This is something else. Every song on the album is perfect. I mean 100 percent. The recording is low-tech but awesome, it is loud and huge sounding. Each song is talking bout something that you can understand and they don’t sound like they are joking in the fucking slightest .They mean it so much you can’t help but agree. Audiowhore makes you angry at Audiowhores. The Lowest Part Is Free gets you all worked up about scene politics all over again. Freezing Point and Revenge are fucking beautifully written and All Hail The Black Market is fuckin just beautifull. The whole things is gigantic and clanging and it sounds like an abandoned railway station with the wind rushing through it and that’s what I fuckin mean so fuck you. Yas.
So if you accept the idea that an E.P. takes a snapshot of where a band is at the moment, between big projects, this for Archers Of Loaf was their perfect moment. And mine had to do with Elmer’s glue and an old Emerson television. I think we know who wins here, motherfuckers.
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I remember that Tramps show. I got into the oddest fight I’ve ever been in. Some big long haired effeminate fat guy that looked like Molly Shannon kept bumping into T. So I shoved him across the crowd.
Then, his bigger, fatter, friend pushed me, so I pushed him, and he pushed me, on and on until each push landed us a few more feet apart. This all happened in the “pit.” Why there was a pit at this show is inexplicable.
Finally, the second fat guy charges at me and my and we both go flying to the other side of the pit. Then he embraced me and we hugged. And I eft confus-ed. Maybe he was just a comedic genius.
This 10-inch will forever remind me of that embrace.
hahaha i clearly remember that elmer’s glue volume turn down.