Why no FSS posts? FUUUUU!
Well cause we got jobs and families and record labels to tend to these days. Deal with it. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t still thinking about music all damn day. Want proof? What follows is a transcript of texts between the Brothers Frankenstein culled over the first half of 2011. MMS texts inserted where relevant. Real reviews to follow at some point.
T: 
P: My next tattoo.
T: Where u puttin it?
P: On meh taint
T: I just read that no doubt and blink 182 are both back in the studio. What Fucking year is this?!?
P: (no response)
P: Cat ahead of me is listening to that peaches song by presidents of the usa.
T: Ahead of you where? 1994???
P: Yup. He’s sitting having a zima with kennedy.
T: Seriously where are you?
P: On the train to south orange.
T: You know they come in a can.
P: What?
T: Peaches. They were put there by a man.
P: In a factory downtoooowwwwn. Fuck Seattle.
T: Those assholes were from Seattle? I thought like Idaho or west Virginia or something
P: Nope. Seattle i think. Friends wit mixalot.
T: Are you thinking of mudhoney?
P: Nope
T: Colder than a pimps heart.
P: Awwww im prison bound.
P: Wild one by thin lizzy done as rocksteady. The guitar lines changed to organ. Think about it.
T: I’m thinkining.
T: Me and E are starting an accapella skinhead band. It’ll be oi! but with no instruments. You in???
P: Yus.
T: Start thinking of names then. Oi!cappella is my suggestion.
P: The fredperrytones.
P: Liquor store down here was playing bastards of young when i walked in drunken lullabies as i walked out.
T: Most awesome liquor store ever?
P: I bought a scratch off. Thought mebbe it was a sign.
T: Have u seen the Chrysler commercial w thursday by morphine in the background?
P: Nope…isn’t he dead.
T: As dillinger.
T: My question to you is how izzit that I have an entire Skavoovie and the epitones album on my ipod? I gotta purge some of this shit.
P: Better than bowling for soup.
T: Just barely.
(3 days later)
T: Just read this headline on punknews “bowling for soup announce new album”. You willed it dude.
P: Fuckin goddamnit.
T: While yer at it can you get save ferris back together for me.
P: Remember dc cabs?
T: Checkered cabs?
P: Yah whatever. Isn’t dc cabs a christian rap group.
T: DC talk is the christian group. Dc Cab was a Mr. T movie.
P: Eat my suck fuckface.
T: Suck my fuck stick.
P Suck my ass it smells.
T: I’m sucking this right now. 
P: I’m sharing a dirty rice crispie treat with a kid with shit in his pants.
P: A reggae version of dancing in the moonlight. Think about it.
T: I’ll start thinking these things when you start a reggae band.
T: Yo La Tengo just walked into the bar.
P: Challenge them to a flute solo duel.
T: Guitarist and drummer only.
P: Tell them ur a one man band then fart and clap simultaneously
T: I like watching businessmen lose their balance on trains
P: Me too
P: Lissen u know any misfits songs that have the lyric 52 ways to kill someone? that can’t be danzig era…
T: all i got is 40 eyes and psycho 78 coming to mind.
T: err 20 eyes? 40 is jus too many eyes.
P: Nah it was a song i never heard before… can’t be danzig era.
T: 59 times the pain also comes to mind even tho it’s the huskers. now i’m gonna be thinking of songs with #s all day
P: No the lyric was 52 ways to kill someone…kinda 60ish kinda dark morrissey.
T: Just googled it. It’s saturday night off famous monsters. oh google. so smart. I fucking hate that album by the way. even tho i secretly love american psycho.
P: that was a good song tho… i’m sure the rest of the album sux.
T: it’s abysmal.
P: Ricardooooooo
T: The songs are short and your hem is short too
P: Nate’s pissing off the 10th floor. Ricardooooo.
T: Record companies want us cause they know we’re writin hits
P: They’re buyin us drinks and they’re givin us winks…ohhh ricardoooo
T: Some people were born to ri car do
T: an omlette of disease awaits your noontime meal.
P: A mouth of germicide sedition of ur class?
T: I thought it was “seducin all your glands”. Although i’m not sure what germicide is anyway
T: I fuckin hate greasers man. Hate em hard.
P: But they’re sick boys oh way oh.
T: Fuck those guys oh way oh.
P: Backstreet billys got a gun in is aaaaaaannnnnnnd.
T: What business song izzat?
P: I forget the name.
T: Me too
T: Whatchu thinkin bout? Razzle?
P: Were you texting vince neil?
T: I wouldn’t txt that murderer if you paid me. Hey so Razzle only has 7 fans on fb. 8 Including me. Vince has 13,254.
P: Ok i’ll friend the dead hair rocker tmrw. R U drunk?
T: 
P: You got a big mouth sucka.
T: Badump bump!
T: We should start a crust band called fecal spray.
P: We cud rig an inflatable ass to blast dinty moore stew into the crowd as we played.
P: I’m standing here in the train station and u know what? I like that song wrapped round ur finger by the police.
T: Barf.
P: Barf you.
T: Zenyatta barf datta.
T: Coulda been a good dancer.
P: Cud never get the shit off my shoes.
P: Samhain’s archangel. Husker Dus divide and conquer. Alot of melodic similarity. Evidence of a danzig/mould affair? I think the answer is yes.
T: Unfortunately I only have zen arcade on me or I’d research that further. Mould has a tell all book out now. You should see if Glenn is mentioned.
P: Hank’s gonna be so pissed.
T: They have an open relationship.
P. Yeah that’s what glenn says. That dog.
T: You mean he lied to me? Scamp.
P: You know what? I like john cougar melancamp. Way more of his songs are good than bad. So suck it.
T: Even “hurts so good”?
P: Weird you should mention it. It’s stuck in my head and I hate it. Going thru the other songs by him I had this epiphany.
T: Cmon man. Paper and fire! Suck. Wild nights cover! Suck. P Frankenstein! Suck
P: I like paper and fire. Wild nights wud have been aight cept for michele ndegejablonsky. And P Frankenstein is one of the top 10 hits of the century.
T: You’re wrong about everything. You went out on a limb and blew it.
P: I have made a horrible mistake.
T: It was a momentary lapse in judgement. We all have em. I saw U2 live…twice.
P: No I was talkin bout the amount of sauce I put on my thai food. The mellancamp I stand by.
T: I could make $ playin corporate rokk.
P: But stead I got hit by a bus. This songs about Cleveland.
P: Ahm the one that said Jus grab em in the biscuit.
T: So now u gonna do yo dance?
P: First ima eat up all ur crackers. Possibly also ur licorice.
T: Meet u in the uptown burger king bathroom later.
P: Oh man. Humpty was such a foul scoundrel.
P: U ever hear this sage fancis character?
T: Not a fan. You ever hear your mom’s greatest shits? 
P: Once. I was very young.
T: That’s the sort of thing that sticks with you into adulthood.
T: The new radiohead sounds even better when yer drunk on sweet sunset wine. For your limbs.
P: I dreamed last nite I was in joan jett’s latest band. For your erections.
T: Joan Jett now or Joan Jett 25 years ago?
P: Now. I’m still down.
T: I’m listening to Vol 1-11 of dope guns and fucking in the streets in a row.
P: I’m listening to an autistic kid yell in my face for 2 more hours.
T: Hahahahahahaha. Loser.
P: C o n s t a P a t i o n a word I can not understand. Constipation is a word that I cant understand.
T: Backed up and singin op ivy. Weird.
P: I’m saying i’m not backed. Never am. Cannot undertand.
T: Oh. Gross.
P: Cant unnerstaaaaannnnnnn
P: It aw ready started in the city.
T: You can go DIE.
P: Sorry no. The correct answer was suburbia will be just as easy. Yes. Close. Your lovely consoluation prize is RIDE A DICK.
T: I wasn’t finishing your quote. I was telling you to fucking DIE.
P: Aiiiiiieeeeee.
P: Cmmmmoooooonnnnnn itz satahday night.
T: Or afternoon or whatever it is.
P: Nah man remember that lordz of brklyn song?
T: Nope. Thought you were quoting Dulli from that French bootleg.
P: Nope. Good call tho.
T: Ned’s atomic dustbin woulda bin my next guess.
P: Which was a cover of a bay city rollers song.
T: Which was on the soundtrack for so I married n axe murderer.
P: U know whats a good song despite sum 41s wretchedness? Little know it all.
T: You make me sick.
P: The one they did with iggy pop. It’s mostly an iggy tune. Check it out. I’m serious.
T: I’m serious. No.
P: Ride a dick.
T: I was thinking of transcribing some of our choice txts about music as an FSS piece. U ok wit dat?
P: Yus
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This cracked me up.